‘I thought I’d be Happier’ was a statement from a client about six months after she landed her dream job. Even though we had been discussing that happiness is an ‘inside’ job, she was certain that once she landed “the job” that would catapult her into happiness.
How often we rely on external events, things or people to ‘make’ us happy. We say ‘Life will finally be good when _____ happens.’ I’ve seen it with life events such as a new job, marriage, or a new baby. When I was married, it was when we buy the house, make a certain level of income or when we go on that next vacation.
The events come and go and we may experience a brief period of happiness, but then we settle back into the same old yucky feelings.
So how do you become Happy?
Happiness is a by-product of being comfortable in your own skin and optimal living. My personal journey of self-discovery began about twelve years ago when I realized that I needed to take steps to change the woman I had become. I was resentful, angry and viewed my glass as half empty. Life was not good and I certainly was no fun to be around.
When I started addressing the root causes of my negative viewpoint, I came to the realization that other people, things or events wouldn’t make me happy. I needed to make changes in my life to move me from being negative to being positive. In short, I needed to take responsibility and the ownership that my happiness was my job, not someone else’s.
No one wants to hear the reason why they are unhappy is because they made that decision. I came to the realization that I needed to make better choices on how I live my life, and my life began to change once I took ownership.
One of the happiest people I’ve known was my grandmother. She passed away just shy of her 102nd birthday. Her husband had passed about 15 years earlier and she lived in her hometown where none of her children lived anymore. Living the closest, about 150 miles away, I would visit her several times a year.
She was such a great example of how to age gracefully. She could have chosen to live the final years of her life in resentment and anger towards children and grand-children for not living close by. She instead chose to embrace the community that lived in her retirement home and formed new friendships. She passed with peace in her heart and a happy woman.
Each morning you awake you have the choice as to whether you’re going to live in happiness or in misery. But it doesn’t stop there, throughout your day you continue to make the choice. This can be challenging if the day events don’t unfold as you would like; but remember the choice is always yours to make
