Kids hear a lot about manners, apologizing, and being friendly. They hear it at school, they hear it at home, and they hear it at the park. “Say you’re sorry” tends to be a knee-jerk reaction when something goes wrong, whether accidental or intentional. But does it truly have meaning?
Children internalize messages about the true meaning of apologies by watching their parents. An “I’m sorry” said in anger feels less apologetic and more guilt inducing to a small child while an apology made in a moment of calm that is full of empathy and understanding conveys a much more positive message.
Those two little words can very powerful or completely without merit. They can be used as a means to an end, as in the case where a child utters a stubborn apology so that he can go back to playing, or they can begin a conversation that repairs a wrong.
Children internalize messages about the true meaning of apologies by watching their parents. An “I’m sorry” said in anger feels less apologetic and more guilt inducing to a small child while an apology made in a moment of calm that is full of empathy and understanding conveys a much more positive message.
As much as we insist that our children right their wrongs with apologies, how often do we right our wrongs by kneeling down and apologizing to them?
If we want to raise kind, empathic children, we have to begin by monitoring our own words and actions
